The Company Line

By Jon



The word of the day: continuity. Ralph Wilson wants continuity. Chris Kelsay wants continuity. Duke Preston wants continuity. What do the fans want? Definitely not continuity.

In other news, Lindy Ruff says the Sabres need to stick to the system.

Hey... at least we get another year's use of the "We got Dick for less..." tag.

UPDATE: Try reading a few of these without vomiting. I dare you.

Kaleta overkill and other news and notes

By Jon

I was all ready to write an extended, several hundred word post defending Kaleta's play and how he's been handling things, and then dave in rocha goes and sums up everything I wanted to say in a couple of sentences:

"I still have not heard anyone adequately explain to me WHY he needs to fight, drop the gloves, or "stand up for himself" just because he hits hard. He's throwing body checks at guys who have the puck (or just got rid of it). His hits are clean (95 times out of 100). He's not doing douchey cheap stunts like Avery standing in front of Brodeur. He's not aiming at guys' heads like Neil. And he's not driving guys into the boards headfirst like Downney and Hollweg. THOSE GUYS should look over their shoulders. THOSE GUYS should get a beatdown. I equate Pat to someone like Dustin Brown. You don't see people talking about how he's not dropping the gloves too."

Kaleta is the classic "guy you hate to play against but love to have on your team," but for whatever reason, some Sabres fans are complaining. Dave is right -- there is no sensical and justifiable reason that Kaleta should drop the gloves or change any part of his game right now.

If Kaleta pisses off an opponent, drops the gloves and takes a beating, he sits in the box and watches for the next five minutes. If he pisses off an oppenent, takes a beating and then hangs on to his gloves, the Sabres get a power play. Why would anyone want the first option? Lets face it, he's taking a beating either way (I can't imagine he would win too many fights,) and I would much rather have a power play than have the antagonist from Angola sit in the box for five.

I don't care if sticking up for himself is "part of the game", Kaleta should turtle until other teams smarten up -- and I'm not convinced that his enemies are all that smart.

*****

I'm convinced that the collective IQ of all of humanity drops 20 to 30 points in the week leading up to Christmas. Compared to nearly everywhere else in the country, WNYers are generally pretty good drivers in the snow (by necessity), but anyone that drove on Niagara Falls Boulevard at any point over the last few days can attest that the idiot drivers were out in full force.

One of my biggest pet peeves is the vulture that will circle a parking lot twenty times until they see someone leave a store, follow them to their car, and wait until they back out to take their parking space. Save yourself ten minutes and park in the back. It will add less than one minute to your walk, I promise.

*****

Memo to Ralph: Nothing will surprise us anymore. Come clean about Dick. Did he get an extension? Didn't he? We're going to find out soon enough, and frankly I'm not sure how much I care anymore.

Not Enough Shoes in the World

by Ryan



7-9. 7-9. 6-8. You have to admit the man's consistent. Going into week five the Bills had a 84.9% likelihood of making the playoffs. Then we realized they can't beat anyone with a winning record. In fact, since their last playoff appearance the Bills have a sub .200 record against teams with winning records, and that number is only going to get smaller this year.

Yeah, everything seems to be going juuuust fine.

Did the James Hardy injury even affect you? I got that message today and it was like being told we're out of milk. What a disappointment of a season for that rookie. So much for that immediate impact player.

Looking back on the season it seems to be a colossal disappointment all around. From the play on the field to the personnel decisions to marketing and public relations. Everything has gotten worse. Trent has regressed, and Lee didn't touch the ball despite getting a huge contract extension. The Crowell Decision. Another year full of injuries on defense. Schobel. Marshawn's legal troubles. The Toronto game. Everywhere you look is disappointment and mediocrity, yet it looks like nothing will change.

It's embarrassing, sad, depressing, and scary. I'm embarrassed to remember how optimistic we were about this team, and depressed about where they are headed. Almost nothing positive came out of another five months of Bills football. Nothing. No improvement, no lessons learned, just more extensions and empty promises.

In fact, the only thing that has improved for this team is the bottom line. Sometimes it's just hard to remember that's all that matters.

Ambling Madly All Over the Town

by Ryan

Just a few links and thoughts that I've wanted to cover over the last few days. We will have something bigger later on.

- You may not have noticed, but Jerry Sullivan has been on fire recently. His last few columns have been excellent, and he nailed it on Sunday. I'm certainly not his biggest fan, but I feel like sending him a "Thank you" email or something for the past month.

- The KHL will hold its All Star Game outside. There are at least 400 jokes I could make about this, but I get yelled at for the mere mention of Ted Rodgers these days. Needless to say, expect plenty of heart out of Team Jagr.

- This has nothing to do with sports, but I think this is completely justified. Let me go on record now and say that if I don't get a pony for Christmas I will burn this mother down.

- The Big Lead had a good read about the media's love affair with Tim Tebow and Tyler Hansbrough. After hearing him called "the greatest athlete in the history of the game" on Saturday I truly hope Tebow becomes the greatest Tasty Freeze manager of all time.

- I'd like to take this time to thank the photographers for The Associated Press for providing me with an image of Dick Jauron looking mortified. Each week I search with eager anticipation for this image, and you haven't let me down yet. Here's this week's, which looks slightly artificial and neutral compared to others.



Perhaps Dick has chameleon-like qualities?

- If I had the time I would photoshop a penguin leaping over a shark. Jesus, that site's nothing more than a Twitter feed these days.

- I've been searching for the Goose hit on Lovejoy but it hasn't turned up yet. Someone has to have that, right? Let me know if you find it, it deserves it's own post.

- Did anyone else just see this and nod?

- It's exciting times around these parts because I almost have enough free time to read the Free Darko book. I may even sleep soon, which would be a refreshing change of pace.

- I know talking about fantasy football is a blogging sin, but please let me have this. I was going to make this it's own post but I wanted to keep the damage minimal. Remember when I talked about my new keeper league philosophy and Chris said we would finish last? Well, we made the playoffs (and money) with the 3 seed. Thomas Jones has been a monster and our Smith/Johnson/Marshall combo has been excellent. Did we mention Drew Brees?

Oh, and Chris missed the playoffs.

Threepeat

by Ryan

One season.

Dick Jauron has made a career out of one football season in which his team went 13-3 and lost its first playoff game at home.

That's actually pretty impressive. Getting a few million dollars and employment with two football teams for a few months of incredible luck is about as good as it gets in life. Sure he has to work hard as a head coach, but if you take away that one 13-3 season our current head coach is 20 games under .500 for his career. Even with the 2001 Bears he is 56-73 with zero playoff wins.

When you think about it, he's the perfect football coach for this team. A team with lots of potential and flashes of brilliance while remaining perpetually mediocre needs a soft spoken, unassuming, below-average head coach to keep the rudder bouncing back and forth.

I'm not one to bang the "Fire Dick" drum all that often, but that's mostly because it sounds pretty gross. I really try to give head coaches the benefit of the doubt after the rapid fire succession we've seen here since Marv's departure. Still, the turn of events we've seen take place this year have slowly brought me to the point where I can say this team would be better off without Dick Jauron.

The case against him is pretty easy to make, but the same can be said for any head coach if you try hard enough. Whenever you are frustrated with your current head coach you look for the qualities that guy lacks and want them for yourself. With Dick Jauron you are looking for someone who has the ability to raise their voice an octave, doesn't talk at you like you're a remedial second grader, and looks and moves like a living creature. Wow, not looking for a whole lot there, are we?

I'm not looking for bizarro Dick Jauron here, in fact I think he does some good things with his team. His level-headedness is good at times, but when things go terribly wrong it would be nice to see he's capable of blinking. Changing nothing is not staying steady if the ship is only going down. That's an inability to adapt and change, and that's the sign of a bad head coach.

The problem is that Dick Jauron isn't a bad coach, he's just really, really average. He isn't going to suck our loud because he has some coaching ability. However, it looks more and more like that 13-3 season is an exception to the rule. He peaked as a pro football coach in 2001, and if that's the case what is he doing running a pro football team in 2008?

More than anything it is his press conferences that get to me. I know dealing with the press should not be the main concern of any head coach, but it is part of the job. Dealing with the media keeps you accountable with the fans and is the only way to get a real feel for the team from a primary source.

If that's the case, why is it that I've learned absolutely nothing from Dick Jauron since he took the head coaching position? His pressers read like the Madden tutorial we all skip because we understand the basics of football. Really, Dick, we do. You don't have to explain that running Marshawn Lynch 33 times per game would get him hurt over time. You also don't have to explain that when you are in the red zone the defense has less ground to cover. That's kind of a good thing because it means you have less ground to gain in order to score points.

Also, Trent Edwards has completely regressed as a football player. I know this because I have eyes. Sorry to break it to you. I also know that Marshawn Lynch had 16 carries on Sunday and was given the ball once in the red zone. That one carry was also after his longest run of the season, so if you are worried about "destroying" him you should have given him a break there. That would mean Marshawn could have carried the ball another, say, ten times, and maybe a few of those could have been in the red zone. It seems kind of difficult to score down there, so maybe you should give your best player a chance to punch it in instead of rolling out your fledgling quarterback with a sore groin.

The Bills lost to a 3-8 West Coast team at home on a day where they failed to score a touchdown despite a +300 yard performance on offense. There were plenty of questions asked by the media, and rightfully so. These are the answers Dick Jauron gives us, and if that really is the best he can do then perhaps he doesn't know the real answers either.

I'm not asking for honesty, we all know that's never going to happen. All I want is someone to lead this team that seems to understand the questions asked by the media. I know he's doing it on purpose, I get it; but what he needs to understand that it's getting old. I'm sick of expecting nothing from this head coach, and I'm starting to get sick of expecting nothing from this team.

Someone needs to take the blame for this clusterf*ck of a season. Maybe it should be on the players, but maybe it's time to look for someone with a bit more upside leading this team as well. The last two seasons under Dick Jauron have ended with a 7-9 record. Right now the Bills are at 6-6 with the playoffs out of the question once again. 7-9, 7-9, and it's looking like another 7-9.

One more strike sure looks like an out to me.

We Got Dick for Less...

by Ryan

Time is short today, but I really think you need to see this. I'll be honest, I never listen to what Dick Jauron has to say because he is one of the most boring people on the planet, but this was especially incriminating.



Dick Jauron makes John Madden sound like Rousseau. More on this later, but consider this as a prerequisite for further discussion later tonight.

Ask Dick

by Ryan

Coach, is your quarterback regressing?

There’s probably a lot of ways you could go with it, but I think clearly, statistically, you’d say that he’s not playing as well the last four games than he was earlier in the year, so I don’t know if there is any more to be said than that, though, I know that he’s four weeks more experienced, I know that he’s four weeks smarter because I see him study.

That's one thought right there. Amazing. His statistics show he's played like crap. He looks like crap. He probably sounds like crap. However, time is not a standing still, so he is a better quarterback.

He’s studying all of the time.

I bet he is. Trent has his film study down pat. He's going to fast-forward the hell out of Kansas City this weekend.

So regression in that area, I would say no, I would say he’s gone forward. So you see what I’m saying? You can take it either way.

That is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard about quarterback progression. Ever. All aspects of his play have deteriorated, but because of the perpetual march of time Trent Edwards is a better quarterback. By this measurement, Ryan Leaf is going to be fucking phenomenal next year.

The bottom line is we’re just not playing well enough to win and he’s one of the guys. He’s one of those guys out there so he’s part of it.

Glad to know he's aware Trent plays in these games.

So whatever all of that means, there it is. I don’t see him in a slide backwards, if that’s what you mean. But clearly, performance-wise, it hasn’t been there.

...



...

So Trent's performance has been invisibly sliding... forward? What does that even mean? He's not regressing, but based on performance he has played worse than before. If that's not regression, then I have no idea about anything. Up is down, and wide open is double coverage.

If Trent is so good at watching film, though, I hope he notices all those open receivers he didn't see on Monday. The good news is that according to Dick, every minute that passes Trent Edwards gets better as at life, and I lose faith in Dick Jauron as my head coach.

The Makeout Machine Gun, STEVE JOHNSON, and Wedding Bands

by Ryan

I'm going to try putting something competent together for tomorrow, but there still is plenty to talk about from last night. I'm not really sure how any of this will fit together, so I'm going to fragment it all and see what happens. A mix of actual analysis, dark humor, and depressing as hell material will follow.

- The last text message I received before my phone died was from Chris. I'm sure he won't mind me sharing:

"Take your wedding ring off the next time you kick the f#$king ball you goddamn piece of s#$t. And spell your first name right."

If I wasn't lying in a heap on a metal bleacher I would have found that hilarious.

- After Brady Quinn gave some interviews he wiped his face with a towel and tossed it into the crowd. So yeah, there's a Brady Quinn sweat-towel floating around Buffalo now. If you see Brett Michaels in town you now know why.



- This one is a direct message to 289. I'm giving you this picture and letting you do with it what you will.



I'm not suggesting anything, but that boy looks like he could use a nice hot wiener or seventy.

- Did anyone get the memo about our new superstar receiver?



Steve Johnson.

During the first preseason game we had one of our 3,000 fantasy football drafts. One thing we couldn't get over was the fact that a receiver had his full name on the back of his jersey. No way that guy makes the practice squad, let alone the team, right? When you can't even get an S. or St. back there, you know it's not going to last. Aside from Marshawn, who led the team in reception yards last night?

STEVE MOTHERF#$KING JOHNSON.

- Isn't it nice to see the return of Trent "F#$k it, I'm checking down" Edwards? The quarterback we anointed Lord and savior has morphed into the Antichrist over the last month. I'm telling you, that concussion put the devil into the boy.



He doesn't even look like Trent Edwards in that picture. Perhaps that's because his eyes are moving through progressions so fast he looks like a slot machine. Let's put it this way, when the crowd is literally screaming out the names of wide open receivers that you don't see, it may be time to slow things down a bit. I don't blame Evans at all for fleeing the Ralph like it was a crime scene last night. If he stuck around for questions he may have murdered someone from the AP.

Hardy running free in the end zone. Evans beating his man clean on a double move. Roscoe open on an out. These weren't receivers who had a step or two, these were receivers who were running good clean routes while their quarterback was too scared to throw against a putrid defense he should have picked clean. The Browns didn't get any pressure on Trent Edwards, but the pressure he put on himself swallowed him up and simultaneously ripped his balls off. That may sound like a bad Brady Quinn joke, but that's as good an explanation of what happend last night as I can find.

- Also without balls is Dick Jauron, who was actually out coached by someone resembling a pile of dog crap. If you don't have faith in your quarterback to get you another ten yards closer to that field goal, I don't know what to tell you. Why not let Marshawn throw a pass, then? He's 1/1 in his career and looked like he would do anything to win that game last night. Running him into an eight man box wasn't going to cut it.

- Question: If Rex Grossman is the Sex Cannon, should we call Trent the "Makeout Machine Gun"? He seems like the "I'm afraid to try anything but this is okay let's keep doing this" type...

- Just to get this on record: there's no freaking way you can go to J.P. Losman now. I've said it here before and I'll say it again: when ownership gave Trent Edwards the keys they effectively ended any level of productivity from J.P. Losman. Whatever happens with Trent we are stuck with, for better or worse. The revolving door at quarterback simply has to stop, and so whatever struggles Trent has we are going to put up with with them for the long haul.

The decision seemed like a no brainer last year, but you had to understand what it meant in the long term for this team. Giving Trent the starting spot alters the course of the franchise and subsequently kills the development of yet another young quarterback. Throwing J.P. under the bus meant Trent Edwards must be the starter for the next two-plus years, and right now that starting quarterback has zero chemistry with a top five wide out. Super.

- Is this picture ever going to be okay?



No, I don't think it will. I really do feel for Rian, he has been a very good kicker for the Bills, but this one is going to stick for a long time.

- I've never been so mentally sick after a football game in my life. There was a level of shock to last year's Dallas game that wasn't there yesterday. We weren't supposed to win last year, and how stupidly it ended was just cushioned the blow in a way. It was like a college basketball game where the underdog home team loses on a ridiculous three at the buzzer.

Last night was a must win and a game that was more than winable. Even with all the stupid turnovers and the defense slipping up, special teams and a huge effort from your running back kept you in and gave you the lead. The win was there, and hope was still alive. Last year's Monday Night Football loss was crushing, but not season-ending crushing. This game was like giving blood, except when the nurse brings out the needle she kicks you in the testicles and takes your wallet.

- The people directly behind me were a lot of fun to watch a game with. I've never met them before in my life, but they were the kind of Bills fan you'd love to be friends with. Sarcastic, knowledgeable, and willing to be drunk-loud yet still be friendly. Taking a look around the interwebs today there was a lot of Bills fan bashing, but it was nice to know from experience there are plenty of good guys (and girls) out there.

- Anyone think the playoffs are possible? No? Okay, just checking.

I still have a bunch of little ideas on the Bills that may be mini posts, but oh look it's time for the Sabres to play 45-50 minutes of hockey. Awesome.

Still Worth Considering

by Ryan



Since Dick Jauron's "extension", the Bills are 0-4. When you first got word of it, didn't you get this immediate feeling of mediocrity?

Yeah, me neither.

Something to Consider

Since Dick's extension, the Bills are 0-3. Suddenly that 84.9% chance is looking a lot more like 15.1%.

Greggggggggggg Hates Dick, Loves Toronto

by Ryan

Gregg Easterbrook is a douche. You and I both know this. However, I was reading the paper today and noticed that his awful Tuesday Morning Quarterback column mentioned something about the league wanting to keep a franchise in Buffalo. For the sake of understanding his special type of crazy, I wanted to see this for myself.

Here we go.

Buffalo: This year's Miami "at" Buffalo game in Toronto reduces the Bills' home dates to seven. But unlike the Dolphins and Saints, penalized by losing a home game for "home" appearances in London, developing a Toronto relationship should be good for the Bills.

Um... sure? Convince me. No? Okay.

Now check the favor the league did for Buffalo in this year's sked -- only one Orchard Park game in December, and that against the sinister-but-popular Patriots. The Bills always sell out their pre-Thanksgiving games, but struggle to move December tickets, since locals know snow will have set in by then. For 2008, Buffalo has only one December true home game to sell, which won't a problem with the Patriots as the opponent.

I guess that's good from a ticket standpoint, but that's looking at it pretty coldly. The Dolphins are still the Bills' main rival, and taking that game and moving it 90 minutes north is a slight to the fans no matter what the weather. The fact that this game does take place in December is only removing the weather advantage the Bills would have against a warm weather team. But yeah, keep going.

The Toronto game is in December; though north of Buffalo, Toronto gets considerably less snow, owing to lake-effect weather patterns. Even though the game will be played indoors at Rogers Centre, it will likely be easier to get around Toronto than Buffalo on Dec. 7. For several seasons now, the NFL has both limited Buffalo's December home dates, and made sure that December visitors are attractive to ticket buyers. Between scheduling favors and the new revenue-sharing deal, which is favorable to small-market teams, the NFL seems to be signaling it wants the Bills to be successful in Buffalo.

The fact of the matter is that no matter how many home games the Bills had in December, the entire season would have been sold out. The season ticket base has swelled, interest is increasing, and a Miami game on December 7th in Buffalo would have sold out just as quickly as a "Bills in Toronto" series game would have. There is a reason the Bills have pushed this Bills Backer Presale on us; it's the only real chance for people to get tickets for this year.

The revenue sharing and limiting December home dates is a nice theory, but I don't think there is much to justify it's significance. Whatever, let's get to the part where he talks about Jauron.

Buffalo's Ivy League coach, Dick Jauron, is a fine man but low-voltage personified; he's like a car battery that won't turn the engine on a cold morning. Jauron has just one winning season in seven as a head coach. Losing does not seem to bother him; he's never animated on the sidelines or upset after a loss, and he wasn't upset even after the Bills allowed two scores in the final 20 seconds to lose 25-24 to Dallas before a national audience on "Monday Night Football." Team spirit is high in Buffalo, but the team mindset is all wrong, mirroring the coach. Jauron's gift is lowering expectations; this is his third season in Buffalo, yet he's still talking only about "improvement," not winning. Much of the time, the objective seems to be to lose with dignity. Trailing New England 42-7 in the second half, the Bills kicked a field goal. Trailing New England 56-10 in the fourth quarter, Buffalo punted from midfield. Those were Jauron's decisions and the message sent was, "Oh well, another loss, right you are chaps, pip pip." For a once-proud franchise that has not made the postseason in this decade, the Bills need an attitude adjustment.

I love how he made sure to call him an "Ivy League coach", like being intelligent is a bad thing for a head coach. "Screw that sissy reading, boys, let's go out there and throw the f$%k out of that ball. Let's rip someone's face off!"

Bringing up the New England game as a sign of his demeanor really doesn't do it for me, either. I'm pretty sure if he was anything like me, he couldn't make proper facial expressions for a few days after that one. Who really cares if we punted down 46 points? Yeah, we should have gone for it, but what does that really matter?

Listen, you know I'm not one to defend Jauron. I even have a tag called "We got Dick for less...", but I don't think having a firecracker of a head coach is any better than a cerebral guy like Jauron. Bill Belechick doesn't yell and scream and he is considered the best head coach in the league. Just because Dick looks like a withered corpse doesn't mean he can effectively coach the Bills by speaking in grunts and gentle nudges.



Oh, I see what you did there.

Missing in Action

by Ryan

We at the Goose's Roost will do anything possible to help the Bills find the end zone.



Pictured above is a pylon, which signifies the goal line in traditional football games. The Bills can't seem to find that little orange guy, and actually seem pretty indifferent to that whole "scoring touchdowns" theory some people have.

It wasn't necessary today, but in the future we would appreciate it if they made an effort to embrace the cornucopia of points that comes with some orange plastic lovin.

It's going to be hard to focus next week with all that orange flying around against Miami. It may help if we get a ton of snow so the pylons contrast better on all that white.

Or maybe you could, you know... LET EDWARDS THROW DEEP!

Either way, let's hope we see some more rectangular cubage next Sunday.

Well That Was Fast

by Ryan

Dick wasted little time today, naming JP Losman our second string quarterback this weekend. Uh, I mean Trent Edwards is our starter. (Sometimes I forget which part matters...)

"F--k it, I'm checkin' down"

It seems very strange that this move was made so quickly, usually Dick follows his "Wait till Wednesday" approach, then sneaks out a decision on Tuesday. So... he saved 24 hours this time, which is nice.

In other suddenly Bills-related news, Redskins saftey Sean Taylor was shot in his Florida home early this morning.

Obviously this is terrible news, but Rich would like to remind you that this is not the University of Miami's fault.

Last Chance

by Ryan

I don't care how good a hugger you are, JP. You are dead to me.

Limp Wristed

By Chris

The injury bug strikes again. J.P. Losman will be the Bills starting quarterback this week against the Cincinattica Bungals because, according to head coach Dick Jauron, "Trent Edwards’ wrist will prevent him from participating until late in the week, if at all.”

So it's not like last week, when Jauron came right out and said, "Trent Edwards is our starting quarterback." We've actually regressed to two weeks ago, before Willis Bowl, when Edwards was only starting because Losman's knee still wasn't right and he didn't have enough reps in.

So who knows what next Tuesday has in store. If Losman plays well enough, does he have the job back? Or would that interrupt the already interrupted consistency in the Bills offense?

The Bengals have a notoriously bad secondary so the long ball should come in handy. The lovefest between J.P. and Lee Evans should help too. It feels like we're playing with two totally different starting pitchers. Edwards is controlled and is going to hit the corners, Maddox-esque. Losman is a flamethrower, hitting triple digits on the radar gun.

Play calling hasn't found a way to merge those two styles to accommodate one guy, and that's why we're in the position we are now, injuries aside. The coaching staff doesn't trust Edwards with the long ball and they don't trust Losman to dink and dunk his way down the field.

Until they find a way to balance the play calling and until they allow both players a fair chance at leading the team in all facets of the passing game, there's a very good chance we're going to be having this debate every Tuesday for the foreseeable future. Until then, tune in next week for another edition of "Quarterback Swap."

Oh Crap, We Won!

JP demands a share of our fruit snacks. Still no controversy though, right?

Sharing is the Bee's Knees

by Ryan


Trent Edwards is the starter, blah blah blah. To me it's something that really isn't worth posting, because this has to be the worst QB Controversy of my lifetime. Neither Edwards nor Losman has done anything for me to say I want him as my starter, and Jauron and company are doing everything they can to flounder through this like the indecisive group of mediocrity they are.

What? They announced Edwards a day earlier than last week? Well whooptie freaking doo! That's much better than waiting a week and a half after a bye week to announce him the first time. Listen boys, if you are going to throw JP under the bus, just go ahead and do it already. Quick and easy is best for everyone, just ask Kenny Lofton.

All I'm saying is that if Trent knocked your socks off enough to start him in the first place, stick to him and say he's your guy for the year. Don't carousel on me. What could have possibly changed from Sunday at 4pm to Tuesday morning when Marv sent me that text message? Did you think JP would promise to cut his emo bangs or something?

I guess my problem with the whole thing is that I like JP and Trent. It's kind of the "like you but don't like you like you" thing we all have when girls are still kinda icky. Sure, JP looks good at times and he's your current fling, but when his parents move him to PM preschool and suddenly Trent is around, you don't mind that either.

Then you start to notice all those check downs Trent goes to, and the uncanny pocket presence he has. Let's face it, sometimes he makes you giggle. But when you giggle you remember all those times JP did the same thing as your relationship was developing. Some old guy named Vincent broke his leg once. Good times! Plus he likes your best friend Lee, and they play well together. Remember that time he threw to him twice deep and won that Houston game?

Hrm...after thinking about JP you start to notice the downside of thinking Trent is the bee's knees. He makes a bad throw here and there, and sometimes he checks down a bit too much. Plus, he hasn't exactly said he "likes you likes you" back, and sometimes he throws to the other team. Do you really want to go through the same motions you had to with JP just to get him as your quarterback? To put it plainly, Trent hasn't blown your doors off, and suddenly JP is back in the morning Pre-K class.

So what happens now? Who do we give our extra fruit snacks to? Who's our partner at activity time? After all, you can't play checkers with three people. Um... little help, teach?

"Um... er... play with Trent. For this week. I'll let you know about next week later..."

Thanks, Coach.