Top 10 Worst Sports Halloween Costumes

By Chris

So you're a sports fan. And chances are you're going to a Halloween party but haven't put much thought into what you're going to dress as. You're best bet is to go as someone in the wide world of sports because that's what you're into. But what's original? I know I'm still struggling to find a good costume that doesn't involve an old Matt Barnaby jersey.

And while drunk Joe Namath seems too easy, here are other costume ideas that will make you look like an even bigger loser than you already are.

10. O.J. Simpson:
Sooooo 10 years ago. But if you insist, at least make sure you autograph the footballs you're "taking back."










9. Jon Kitna: If you're going to go out praising our Lord and Savior on All Hallows Eve, then make sure you're going with a Bible-touting hot chick who doesn't look anything like Kurt Warner's wife.



8. Jonathan Papelbon:


New Rule- No man should be allowed to perform an Irish jig in 40 degree weather while wearing nothing but compression shorts and UnderArmor. That is unless he can throw a 97 mile-an-hour fastball.


7. Bill Belichick:
It would be easy to throw on a Pats hoodie, carry around a freaking huge video camera and call yourself a cheater. The problem is that New England is so damn good and just doesn't care anymore. Bill would eat you alive if he saw you were poking fun at him. This is for your own safety. You'd probably be better off wearing a bra and calling yourself the Mangenious. Except Mangenious might actually want to eat you.


6. Pokey Chatman:
You might as well go as a former college basketball coach who also happens to be a lesbian if you're going to dress up for Halloween at all, right, guys? I mean, you can still flirt with all the slutty girls, right? Maybe this isn't such a bad costume idea after all. Hmmm....


5. Don Imus:
The Crypt Keeper might actually be a better choice if you're going for the creepy, bony, decaying old guy look. It's essentially the same costume and at least as the Crypt Keeper, you won't be accused of being a racist.







4. Ron Mexico:

I was actually going to do this one. Then I remembered that I can't buy a Vick anymore because Reebok stopped making them. And I don't have any dogs to fight. Or herpes.





3. LeBron James:
Especially if you're a white guy, the Yankees hat-LeBron Jersey will only make you look like a poser. And no one likes posers. Or blackface. Or redface.









2. Kevin Everett: Just not cool. And you'll probably go to hell.




1. Chris Benoit:
When someone first told me that their friend dressed up as the Pegasus Kid, I could only shake my head. It's even worse than dressing up as Eddie Guerrero. I mean paint yourself pale, tie a noose around your neck AND wear tights? That's just taking it a little too far. No one wants to see your junk exposed, especially when you're portraying a 'roided up family killer. And you'll probably go to hell for it, too. Just saying.

Coming soon to a ring near you....

By Jon

In the red corner, representing West Virginia and all that is wrong with professional football: Adam "Pacman" Jones.

That's right ladies and gentlemen, Pacman Jones is coming to a wrestling ring near you.

It's a ridiculous publicity stunt for two parties that absolutely crave said publicity. Both are immersed in controversy. Both have very little public support. Both are absolutely idiotic. I guess you could say it's a match made in heaven.

Pro wrestling is probably the only sport where showering strippers with thousands of one dollar bills is an approved off-the-field activity, if not an encouraged one.

Congrats Pacman, you may have found your niche. Hell, with the "sport" ravaged by Chris Benoit, 'roid rage, and other deaths (I'm aware that he's acting, errrrr, competing in the TNA, but it's still the same "sport"), you may come off as the model citizen in comparison.

Scripted work

This just in: Anyone who watches professional wrestling is an idiot. Anyone who takes steroids is worse.

Offensive statement? Absolutely, but after this story surfaced, I could care less.

In case you don't feel like reading, pro wrestler Chris Benoit allegedly killed his wife on Friday, his 7-year-old son on Saturday, and himself on Sunday.

Now, it is not my intention to make light of this story. This story is sick and twisted. Anyone who commits this kind of crime is mentally ill, but I really feel as if this story may have an impact on the sports world.

I do not consider pro wrestling a sport, nor have I ever. Anything with a script is theater, not an athletic event. However, in an era where steroids have become prevalent in the sporting world, Benoit's antics, combined with the deaths of Guerrerro, Hennig, and Smith, should lead to harsher steroid penalties and a rise is common sense in the world of athletics. All four of these men dabbled in steroids, to say the absolute least, and it is widely believed that they paid the ultimate price for it. Steroids aren't safe. Everyone knows it, including the athletes that use them. But if a fit of 'roid rage can play a part in a double murder-suicide, maybe players will look at taking steroids with more skepticism, fearing the worst.

Benoit obviously didn't think there was anything wrong with taking them. Hell, he even gave them to his son. Look where he ended up.

Do I think that this story will reverse the trend of steroid use? Absolutely. Do I think this story may cause a few people to rethink taking them? Sure, and well, that's a start as far as I'm concerned.

Now to back up my original statement of pro wrestling fans being morons, you need to read nothing more than the kicker of the posted ESPN article. It read as follows:

Monday's show was supposed to be a memorial service for WWE owner Vince McMahon. In a storyline concocted by the WWE, McMahon was supposedly "assassinated" in a limousine explosion two weeks earlier. McMahon appeared at the beginning of Monday's telecast and acknowledged the bombing was made up.

The McMahon storyline has been dropped.

After reading a story on a double murder-suicide, you would think that you would have built up a tolerance and it would take something extraordinary to put you at a loss of words. Well, thanks to the WWE and Vince McMahon, they did. I honestly don't know what to say, or if I even have to say anything for that matter. You faked the death of your owner for a storyline? Really? Reeaaalllyyyy? If the WWE is so desperate for media attention and ratings that it has to fake a death of one of it's only known figures, it should be canceled immediately. Quit while you are far, far behind. Despicable.

Furthermore, the WWE aired a three-hour tribute to Benoit before knowing the facts of the case. Classy move guys. Any twelve-year-old could have told you that it would have been wise to wait for more details, especially when it was being investigated as a homicide from the start.

In closing, my heart goes out to the family of the wife and child. Truly a tragic event.