The Company Line

By Jon



The word of the day: continuity. Ralph Wilson wants continuity. Chris Kelsay wants continuity. Duke Preston wants continuity. What do the fans want? Definitely not continuity.

In other news, Lindy Ruff says the Sabres need to stick to the system.

Hey... at least we get another year's use of the "We got Dick for less..." tag.

UPDATE: Try reading a few of these without vomiting. I dare you.

Flat

by Ryan

This picture sums pretty much everything about last night:



Well okay, this one does too.



I think it's pretty clear the differences between the two teams. The Washington Capitals pinned their hopes on a superstar making a spectacular play, while the Sabres had theirs riding on an utter disappointment getting really, really lucky. Is that really where the Sabres are right now? I know injuries have taken a toll and the backup was in last night, but can Maxim Afinogenov really be the hero of this team?

What we saw last night was a flat hockey team after a holiday that's supposed to refresh. Single digit shot totals all night, and a lackluster performance that even the final score overstates. The Sabres were given a chance to score on a bad turnover and put it in. The Max goal late was a complete surprise to everyone, and a mistake to begin with. (Either Max isn't supposed to leap out of the way of that, or it was supposed to hit the net. Either or.)

But that was it. Not many chances, not much of a forecheck, and sloppy play in their own end. Again. It feels like the same old story over and over again, this time with a different all-world player ending it. Alexander Ovechkin played another fantastic hockey game, and showed why he is the best goal scoring talent in the league. He probably should have had two last night, but the completely inconsistent goaltender interference penalty calling took one away. Give credit to the officials for making the right call last night, but how many times is that not called this year?

What was so disheartening about last night was that there really wasn't much effort to get excited about. The two previous games were theirs for the taking but slipped away, last night was never in doubt. You knew after the first that there was no way the Sabres were coming out of there with two points. That's not good, and that's not even something we can "build" on. That was losing a game you need with a complete disinterest in playing hockey. What, did Jason Pominville get Animal Crossing for Christmas? Did he have other things to do?

He wasn't the only one. There was no forecheck at all last night; only Adam Mair looked like he gave a crap. That's not a good sign when guys like Kaleta and Gaustad are still missing time. I've said it before, but the more and more I watch this team the more obvious it becomes that something needs to change. The Sabres have gone to the farm once again, but when that injection of fresh rookie excitement fades what will be left?

Tonight the Sabres come home to face a team much worse than they are. It's two points they absolutely should take, but I feel like we've heard this story before. A home game with your starting goalie in net against a team just as "tired" as you are should be a win, and a convincing one at that. Then again that's quite a mouthful, and last night the Sabres showed they can't focus on much.

Let's hope the up and down play continues, and this one will be an up.

Pop Quiz

by Ryan



Q: Which Jet corresponds with each letter?

A:
J- Eric Mangini
E- Brett Favre
T- Wayne Chrebet. No really, that's Wayne Chrebet.
S- Thomas Jones?

Your answers in the comments, if you can tear yourself away from the manboobs above.

Fuck You, J.P. Losman

by Ryan



You fucking stupid pile of fuck. I hate everything about you. I hope that skank you were screwing around with gives you AIDS and you die, but not before the chlamydia makes your dick rot off. I can't believe you are this retarded. You have to be fucking retarded. You have the football intelligence of a dead skunk ran over by Marshawn Lynch.

Oh that too, you fucker. You ruined a fantastic game from Marshawn Lynch, who played his balls off after taking the blame himself. He's a football player. A true football player that takes responsibility for his own actions. Unlike you, he knows when he fucks up and says so. He's not looking for a new contract, he's not thinking about next year. He's the real deal, and you are a fucktard who will be making turkey subs at Subway in five years. Try not to stab yourself with the knives, you fucking moron.

I hate you. I hate everything about your stupid neckbeard and your fucking happy feet. You are worthless. Can you even see Lee Evans? Do you know he plays football? It's pretty obvious that you can see STEVE MOTHERFUCKING JOHNSON, so that's good. Maybe you can give him plenty of practice squad reps when you're playing Arena Football next year. If they don't fold.



If I were a GM I wouldn't sign you if my entire quarterback corps got cancer and died. I'd rather start Dante Culpepper's backfat than your stupid ass. You fucking fuck. You make me want to train mutant bloodhounds to hunt you down and maul the fuck out of you. I don't care if the coaching staff told you to throw every down, you should know how much you suck and check down to a run.

I can't believe I'm watching this game. I have no faith in you, no faith in this team, and no desire to watch football anymore. You have killed football for me, and I hate you for that. If I could punch you in the face, I would hit you so hard your fucking teeth would explode. I might not get the chance, because anyone who sees around town is going to do the same. I hope you get hit by a bus and live, only so dogs can devour your entrails while you slowly bleed to death.

I consider myself a good person. I don't even swear all that much. But you, J.P. Losman, you make me a bad person. I want to do terrible things because of you, and I'm not alone. You are a plague upon humanity, and the sooner you get the fuck out of Buffalo the better.

Holy fucking fuck. I need to lie down.

Exactly

by Ryan

Even though he was playing far from Miami, in another country no less, Ronnie Brown felt right at home.

The Miami Dolphins running back admitted the prospect of facing arch-rival Buffalo in the first-ever NFL regular-season contest played in Canada was daunting, given he figured the Bills' close proximity to Rogers Centre would make them the overwhelming favourite among Toronto football fans.

That is, until he and the Dolphins went out for the pre-game warmup and were greeted by a healthy representation of aqua and orange in the stands. Brown said that boost helped Miami capture a historic 16-3 win over the Bills on Sunday to move into a tie atop the AFC East Division with New England and the New York Jets.

Heady stuff for a Dolphins squad that was the laughing stock of the NFL last year with a dismal 1-15 record.

"Obviously we came up here and Toronto was new scenery for us," said Brown, who ran for a game-high 70 yards on 16 carries. "But we went out and saw the people in aqua and orange and it made a pretty big difference.

"You don't feel like you're playing an away game and you're excited for the support."

TSN.ca

Rational Response

by Ryan



I have nothing to say about this game. Everything about the last three hours of my life has made my physically sick. I hate Ralph and J.P. and everyone involved in this disaster of an experiment up north. I don't care what excuse Dick Jauron has for scoring six points in two weeks, I hope he gets his face eaten by a bear.

I hope Ted Rogers' family members all catch cholera and die.

Ease the Pain

Wes Welker got lit up as the Patriots lost at home again. What's that you say? The Bills could have made a game up against two division opponents? I'm sorry, I can't hear you over J.P. Losman's postgame press conference. Boy, you'd think we won something by the way that cocky bastard spoke. If he played with that confidence on the field he would be a bearded Drew Brees. Or, well, competent.

Bend Over

by Ryan



What an awful football game played by an awful team. All hope is lost. Thank God it's over.

The Makeout Machine Gun, STEVE JOHNSON, and Wedding Bands

by Ryan

I'm going to try putting something competent together for tomorrow, but there still is plenty to talk about from last night. I'm not really sure how any of this will fit together, so I'm going to fragment it all and see what happens. A mix of actual analysis, dark humor, and depressing as hell material will follow.

- The last text message I received before my phone died was from Chris. I'm sure he won't mind me sharing:

"Take your wedding ring off the next time you kick the f#$king ball you goddamn piece of s#$t. And spell your first name right."

If I wasn't lying in a heap on a metal bleacher I would have found that hilarious.

- After Brady Quinn gave some interviews he wiped his face with a towel and tossed it into the crowd. So yeah, there's a Brady Quinn sweat-towel floating around Buffalo now. If you see Brett Michaels in town you now know why.



- This one is a direct message to 289. I'm giving you this picture and letting you do with it what you will.



I'm not suggesting anything, but that boy looks like he could use a nice hot wiener or seventy.

- Did anyone get the memo about our new superstar receiver?



Steve Johnson.

During the first preseason game we had one of our 3,000 fantasy football drafts. One thing we couldn't get over was the fact that a receiver had his full name on the back of his jersey. No way that guy makes the practice squad, let alone the team, right? When you can't even get an S. or St. back there, you know it's not going to last. Aside from Marshawn, who led the team in reception yards last night?

STEVE MOTHERF#$KING JOHNSON.

- Isn't it nice to see the return of Trent "F#$k it, I'm checking down" Edwards? The quarterback we anointed Lord and savior has morphed into the Antichrist over the last month. I'm telling you, that concussion put the devil into the boy.



He doesn't even look like Trent Edwards in that picture. Perhaps that's because his eyes are moving through progressions so fast he looks like a slot machine. Let's put it this way, when the crowd is literally screaming out the names of wide open receivers that you don't see, it may be time to slow things down a bit. I don't blame Evans at all for fleeing the Ralph like it was a crime scene last night. If he stuck around for questions he may have murdered someone from the AP.

Hardy running free in the end zone. Evans beating his man clean on a double move. Roscoe open on an out. These weren't receivers who had a step or two, these were receivers who were running good clean routes while their quarterback was too scared to throw against a putrid defense he should have picked clean. The Browns didn't get any pressure on Trent Edwards, but the pressure he put on himself swallowed him up and simultaneously ripped his balls off. That may sound like a bad Brady Quinn joke, but that's as good an explanation of what happend last night as I can find.

- Also without balls is Dick Jauron, who was actually out coached by someone resembling a pile of dog crap. If you don't have faith in your quarterback to get you another ten yards closer to that field goal, I don't know what to tell you. Why not let Marshawn throw a pass, then? He's 1/1 in his career and looked like he would do anything to win that game last night. Running him into an eight man box wasn't going to cut it.

- Question: If Rex Grossman is the Sex Cannon, should we call Trent the "Makeout Machine Gun"? He seems like the "I'm afraid to try anything but this is okay let's keep doing this" type...

- Just to get this on record: there's no freaking way you can go to J.P. Losman now. I've said it here before and I'll say it again: when ownership gave Trent Edwards the keys they effectively ended any level of productivity from J.P. Losman. Whatever happens with Trent we are stuck with, for better or worse. The revolving door at quarterback simply has to stop, and so whatever struggles Trent has we are going to put up with with them for the long haul.

The decision seemed like a no brainer last year, but you had to understand what it meant in the long term for this team. Giving Trent the starting spot alters the course of the franchise and subsequently kills the development of yet another young quarterback. Throwing J.P. under the bus meant Trent Edwards must be the starter for the next two-plus years, and right now that starting quarterback has zero chemistry with a top five wide out. Super.

- Is this picture ever going to be okay?



No, I don't think it will. I really do feel for Rian, he has been a very good kicker for the Bills, but this one is going to stick for a long time.

- I've never been so mentally sick after a football game in my life. There was a level of shock to last year's Dallas game that wasn't there yesterday. We weren't supposed to win last year, and how stupidly it ended was just cushioned the blow in a way. It was like a college basketball game where the underdog home team loses on a ridiculous three at the buzzer.

Last night was a must win and a game that was more than winable. Even with all the stupid turnovers and the defense slipping up, special teams and a huge effort from your running back kept you in and gave you the lead. The win was there, and hope was still alive. Last year's Monday Night Football loss was crushing, but not season-ending crushing. This game was like giving blood, except when the nurse brings out the needle she kicks you in the testicles and takes your wallet.

- The people directly behind me were a lot of fun to watch a game with. I've never met them before in my life, but they were the kind of Bills fan you'd love to be friends with. Sarcastic, knowledgeable, and willing to be drunk-loud yet still be friendly. Taking a look around the interwebs today there was a lot of Bills fan bashing, but it was nice to know from experience there are plenty of good guys (and girls) out there.

- Anyone think the playoffs are possible? No? Okay, just checking.

I still have a bunch of little ideas on the Bills that may be mini posts, but oh look it's time for the Sabres to play 45-50 minutes of hockey. Awesome.

Common People

by Ryan

There was a mist hovering above the stadium tonight that had nothing to do with Mother Nature. From outside it was pretty cool to see, and as the night went on it only intensified. Yet at the game's close I looked up at it and thought to myself:



There is no God.

This game wasn't just about Rian Lindell, but that field goal is going to forever stick in my mind. That football drifting to the right was a true punch to the stomach, and after over three hours of screaming and yelling and making jokes about Antowain Smith, all I could do is slump into my seat and sit there. I wanted to just lay there for a while and feel better, but that moment never came.

The mist I mentioned earlier, that was from the heat of over 72,000 people doing everything they could to keep their season alive. For a while there it looked shaky, but it sure did look like it was going to happen in the end. We had them. Twice. But in the back of your mind you knew something had to give, and right on que Rian kicked it all to hell.

There are a lot of people to blame for tonight. Trent Edwards probably had the worst game of his career, while Marshawn Lynch probably had the best. The defense didn't do much, and I can't even address how open Lee Evans was at times tonight without wanting to burn churches. However, I'll save these points for a time when all that bile in my body recedes to where it should be.

Last year's Monday Night Football game had a similar ending, but for me the two games felt completely different. There was nothing but pride on the line against Dallas, and while that loss was shocking, having that shock factor softened the blow in a way. This year, however, Buffalo took everything on the field and fell short in a spectacular matter.

But, because it was right there, tonight felt so much worse. I've never witnessed a moment in sports that made me want to curl up on a freezing metal bench and just forget about the world. Tonight my sports fandom knocked me off my own feet, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. You're not supposed to take things that seriously, right? It's not supposed to mean that much. But it does, and that's what keeps you coming back.

After games like this you have to look at what brought you here and ask if it was worth it. What is it worth to sit this close and feel this much and hurt so badly?



I can't really answer any of those questions, but I know it's not going to end anytime soon. The Bills are 5-5 and the their quarterback can't see past ten yards. All that playoff talk a few weeks ago has become just another cloud of mist hovering over us. So maybe there is a God, or maybe not. The one thing I do know is that I'll be back on Sunday. If there is a religion in this town it is sports, even when the pastor can't preach and the collection is corrupt. Into the fog we go, once again.



Because there's nothing else to do.

Things Fall Apart

It's probably not the system's fault, but the guys playing within it just got ass-raped. We'll be back in the morning once the swelling goes down.

One More Time!

Nothing finishes off a dismal sports weekend like zero percent financing! Get the Yaris of your dreams today!

The Face of Evil

Screw you, happy balloon.

Chin Up, Cheer Up

by Ryan

Just before 4:30 pm EST, we all looked a bit like this:


Oh s#$t

I find that when things go well it's hard to find a picture of Dick Jaruon to characterize what's taking place. Put a clusterf#$k in his hands, however, and he pretty much sums up the day.

We'll be back with some thoughts on J.P. and the bye, but for now try to get that look off your face.

A Moment of Zen II

God help us all.

What to Watch Sunday

by Ryan

So if you are a Time Warner customer I have good news regarding what to watch on Sunday around 4 pm. Through the good graces of Time Warner Cable, you will still be able to get your sports fix at kickoff time. Check out the schedule for "Channel Four" on Sunday.

That's right baby:



UAB Dragons Womens Volleyball.

The Lady Dragons, Drag Ladies for short, will take on the high powered Tulane Female Green Wave, which I'm sure will peak the interest of J.P. Losman.



Oh yeah, consider him peaked.

After that, be sure to stay tuned for "MaxPreps Lemming Report", so you can watch players 5-8 years before they play in the NFL! Following that, catch "Heisman Tales: Roger Staubach & John Cappelletti". Holy crap, I'd rather play this than watch any of that garbage:



I'm going to go stab myself in the face now. Or maybe call DirectTV.

Fight the Power!

By Jon

For the most cynical of Bills fans (redundant, I know) tomorrow is the beginning of the end.

Ralph's master plan to "keep the Bills in Buffalo" (read: make more cash) kicks off tomorrow night, with a thrilling preseason contest chock full of third-and-fourth-stringers that will be in the CFL in a few weeks, anyway (in that respect, those lucky fans are getting an early look at their future Argos.)

Listen, Ralph. I get it. The NFL, behemoth that it is, has outgrown the WNY market. From a financial standpoint, an owner would be a fool to keep a team here when he could double his profits in a bustling metropolis. I understand, I really do. You've been telling us for months now that Toronto could be our saving grace, and while I'm in the minority, I agree. There's millions of people up North with no allegiances to a specific NFL team, so it only makes sense to try and tap that market. But the way you have handled the entire ordeal has been atrocious from a PR standpoint, and you are alienating your existing fanbase in the process.

I didn't really have much of an issue with the Bills in Toronto series until I read this. They take our game, jack up the prices, find that sales are a little slow, and try to unload them on the people that were robbed of a game in the first place. Granted, it's only preseason, but could there be a bigger slap in the face?

There are plenty of other issues. The length of the deal. The regular season opponent. The lack of the word "Buffalo" in any of the promotion (Why not "Buffalo Bills in Toronto?"). If the deal was for one year, they were playing the 49ers, and it was made clear that the Bills are indeed from Buffalo, would you have a problem with it? It wouldn't help much, but I would be at least a little bit more accepting.

Someone dropped the ball on the Toronto end, too. I'm not sure if the Bills or the Rogers brass set the ticket prices, but according to this article and various others, our Canadian brethren are hesitant to shell out the big bucks to watch a team they haven't had much exposure to. This quote sums it up best:

"I love the Bills but I think they should stay there in Buffalo," said Jeff Rubinoff, 57, of Richmond Hills, a Toronto suburb. "This is a rip-off for fans with the prices they are charging. And I feel sorry for fans in Buffalo. It's their team. And even if they don't move, this is just creating anxiety for everyone. I'm an Argos fan and this is a definite threat. We in Toronto feel threatened, Buffalo feels threatened, and somebody's making a lot of money off it."

That's just it: Buffalo does feel threatened, and Mr. Wilson is to blame.

Something needs to be done to keep the Bills in Buffalo, and clearly, it's out of the fans hands. There's nothing more we can do but cross our fingers that the old man wises up before he kicks the bucket and sells the team to someone that cares less about a bigger bottom line and more about what this team means to this area. The chances of that actually happening? About zero. Money makes the world go 'round, as they say.

It's a double edged blade. Do we root for the success of the series and hope that leads to financial stability rather than relocation? Or do we hope it busts, detracting potential owners from moving the team north? Either way, we get screwed.

It's hard to get excited for a game when it may be the beginning of the end.

***********
Does the thought of the game being held north of the border make you so sick to your stomach that you won't watch at all?

Do you want to stick it to Ralph by not tuning in?

Well, then do I have the alternative for you!

Sorry to tack on this shameless plug, but I'm going to be playing some sax with my friend's band, the Jimmy Joustra Quartet, tomorrow night (8/14) at Braccetto's Restaurant, located at 6612 Lincoln Ave. in Lockport. The gig goes down from 8-12 on the patio. Feel free to stop by and enjoy the tunes.

An Appeal to Reason

by Ryan

I'm having a crisis of faith right now.

You see, I've been betrayed. Betrayed by one of my very own. Last night was my first fantasy football draft of the year, and terrible things went down. One of my best friends (for the sake of his safety he will remain nameless), a person I've known for years and attend Sabres games with regularly, committed one of the mortal sins of fantasy football.

He brought his girlfriend to the draft.

Now let me stop here and say that this is not a sexist matter, nor is it about this one girl. For the record, she is a great person and if my nameless, (apparently soul-less) friend is reading, she's a keeper. However, what he did last night just isn't allowed. In fact, this is so not allowed I didn't even think I had to bring it up in order to prevent it.

Look, it's 2008 and I'm a realist. I think women should have equal rights and equal pay and all that good stuff. I even don't have a problem with women playing fantasy football/hockey/baseball and all those typical sexist arguments. However, there are a few places significant others just should not show up. The first of those is a fantasy football draft, and the others aren't important enough to bring up at this point in time.

Fantasy football may not matter to some people (Wilbon), but for a lot of guys it is the only "hobby" they have. This is the 21st Century, there aren't many secret societies floating around that you can join. Bringing your girlfriend to a draft is like taking the town drunk and your dog Skippy to a Freemasons meeting back in the day. It seems pretty obvious that it's not an "open invitation" kind of thing.

Why is this is big deal, you ask. Why not just let significant others/spouses show up to drafts? Just picture the scene in your head for a moment. A guy misses out on the QB he pegged. He curses, and that is immediately followed by an "Awwwwwwww" and a back rub.

This. Happened.

I couldn't even comprehend the fact that it was happening, and before you know it Yahoo's servers crapped out on us and the last four rounds were auto picked. Yes, I blame her. The servers smelled the menstruation, and put our whole draft board at risk. I'm pretty sure I heard a bear in my backyard, too.

I... I don't even know what to do. I guess what I'm looking for is a confirmation that I'm not crazy. That is the rule, right? No girlfriends. I didn't just make that up in my head, right? Has anyone had to deal with this before? Should there be some form of punishment?

I need to lie down before the alien bursts out of my chest and hunts him down. Good grief.

You Make Your Own Destination

by Ryan

Sports are supposed to be fun. You invest a certain amount of time in something and you reap the benefits of a successful team. Isn't that the perfect business model?

This week, however, has not been fun. I stole this from a friend's pictures:



The caption: ManRam in his last game as a Red Sock

Wow. That caption sucks.

Like, I've never been more saddened by a facebook album in my life.

There are many things about Manny Ramirez being traded to the Dodgers that have been talked about. When one of the biggest stars in the game gets traded, of course there are going to be opinions on the matter. However, there is only one way I have been able to describe the move:

It sucks.

Today was the first time someone other than a close friend asked me about the deal. I was wearing my Sox hat, and he (of course) was a Dodgers fan. Saying, "it sucks" was about the only way to coherently describe my thoughts on the matter, and that alarms me.

Of course, I have other reasons to be upset. I really liked Hansen's potential, and the thought of Jason Bay doesn't exactly warm my cockles; but for some reason I couldn't form any of those arguments into words. Trading Manny Ramirez sucks. It just does. Done and done.

Now I know there were problems with the whole "Manny Ramirez" thing. Yeah, he had some issues that we as fans looked past. But that's just it: with Manny on your team, when he was yours, you could look past it for some unexplainable reason. I don't want to read things like this trying to tell me what an awful person he was. I'll be honest, I don't care.

This is not a matter of his on field performance, nor is it a case of falling in love with what Manny has brought the Sox in the form of championships. This is different, and something I still have trouble understanding myself. This is a case of having an unique set of intangibles that lets you off the hook for being borderline crazy.

Even down the final stretch, when he was missing games and mysterious injuries came about; for some reason it didn't matter. There was something so predictable about that home run against the Angels in the 9th, just after a grounded into a double play in his last at bat. Just add it to the goofy things he's done, whether to make owners mad or not. No one will ever know what his intentions were, but you can't help but be entertained by them.

This post is all over the place, and predictably so. I still don't know how I feel about Manny Ramirez. I do know I'm not mad at him, and his thoughts on ownership's treatment of players isn't that far fetched. However, I can't get upset about what happened with either party because of how it percolated. This was a move made in order to satisfy both parties. In the end, it will hurt the fans the most.

I guess that's what this is about: I'm hurt. I'm not moved to tears, I'm not sentimental about the good times, and I'm certainly not asking for solace or some sort. The fact of the matter is that it had to happen, and that is depressing as hell. I was sad tonight when I checked the box score and saw Manny went deep for LA. Even seeing Jason Bay go yard was a bit unsettling.

Watching Manny go is that part of sports we all hate. We can't control much of anything when it comes to sports, but watching someone you really care about get taken away is probably one of the most heartless things that can happen to a fan. Sure, we've won two World Series in the last five years. That is fantastic and the most amazing stretch of being a sports fan I've had the privilege to be a part of.

However, seeing this happen again and again with all my other teams only magnifies how crappy the move was. The precedence of watching players go by the wayside magnifies the craptacular result of Manny leaving the Monster's shadow.

This whole thing sounds pretentious and whiny and I'm sorry for that; but I really needed to see it in print to get it out. No one reads this on Sunday, so here it is.

"I don't believe in curses. I believe you make your own destination"

You said it, man.

Free Agency '08!

[Refreshes TSN's Trade Tracker]