Joe Theismann need not apply

By Chris

I can't wait for the new season of Friday Night Lights. I really can't. I was sketchy on the show at first and never really got into it until midseason. So I watched about a dozen episodes online in order to catch up and I don't regret the decision one bit. It's a great show with a lot of heart and the football scenes are surprisingly pretty good. Don't worry, you'll be getting more Lights praising from me in the coming months.

So I was on NBC's website this evening looking up some information on the upcoming second season (which begins Oct. 5 at 9 p.m. ET), and my jaw dropped when I saw this link at the bottom of the page:

AMERICAN GLADIATORS CASTING CALL

Yes that's right. American Gladiators is returning and looking for contestants and I couldn't be happier. I'm too young to appreciate the show for what it was when it was happening, but I remember watching reruns on TNN on weekday mornings in the summer. I'd wake up early--OK, like 10ish--to catch Miami Vice and then American Gladiators. Good memories.

It looks like the show is going to be a mid-season replacement (imdb.com has it pegged for a 2008 debut), but the wait will be soooo worth it. Yes I know this has the potential to suck hard, but the anticipation is what it's all about right? The worst thing that could happen is that the debut gets delayed because the new Nitro decided to stock up on HGH before filming. And I'm willing to bet no one would be surprised.

Also, even if you're not jacked up like Tim Couch and you're not thinking about applying, take a look at some of the questions being asked in the application for potential contestants. There's some really personal stuff in there.

• "13. Have you had any experiences that have traumatized you?"

• "14. What is your unique and personal motivation for wanting to compete on the show?"

• "19. What conversation topics are 'off limits' for you at a dinner party?"

• "21. If you were going to be in People magazine, what inside info about you would be put next to your picture?"

• "24. If you had Aladdin's lamp and had 3 wishes, what would you wish for? (Rule: you can't wish for money or more wishes). 1. 2. 3. Why?"

• "25. What is your strategy to win the game? (We won't tell the others.)"

• "Draw a picture of yourself in the box below"

Basically every storyline they want to make about you on the show is right there in this application. Maybe I should have tune into The Contender tomorrow night, just for those up lifting and "scripted" subplots each boxer has. Then again, maybe I made the right choice in watching Rocky III tonight instead. After all, Clubber Lang could probably take Laser in the Joust.

Around the Ring

By Chris

When ESPN debuted Battle of the Gridiron Stars two summers ago, I thought that there was no way it was going to last. I could just see Peyton Manning climbing over the giant wall, falling, and breaking his leg. Then the Colts would sue the pants off of anyone and everyone involved in the production of the show. And that would be the end of it.

What I didn’t expect to see was Dancing With the Stars causing those problems. This week’s “Sign of the Apocalypse” in Sports Illustrated features this little blurb, “Undefeated super middleweight Laila Ali must undergo knee surgery because of the wear and tear of performing on Dancing With the Stars.” Wait…really?

The New York Post has the original story, reporting that Ali will have surgery on both knees. I’m not a fan of the show to begin with, but this situation makes one wonder if athletes will second-guess making an appearance on the show. Imagine if Apolo Anton Ohno’s Olympic bid was put in jeopardy because of an injury sustained on a reality show. Would it bring about an international crisis?

In other boxing news involving the Ali family, George Foreman is pushing his new book which includes the story of how he lost to Muhammad Ali in the Rumble in the Jungle because of a tainted water bottle. I think one sentence is more than enough space for that, don’t you?

Also, UFC 71 is tonight in Las Vegas. Chuck Liddell and Quinton “Rampage” Jackson will square off in the main event. All of the major media outlets seem to be on the UFC bandwagon now that the Mayweather-De La Hoya fight proved that boxing is pretty much dead. Liddell was on the last issue of ESPN the Magazine and UFC is the cover piece for SI. ESPN even added a Mixed Martial Arts section to its website. I find the good fights entertaining, but in the words of movie Herb Brooks, “To me it looks more like two monkeys trying to hump a football.”

I want to know what it was like back when boxing was huge. TNT had the first three Rocky movies on this morning and I was instantly locked in. Where are the modern day Apollo Creeds?

And what boxing round-up wouldn’t be complete without a Mike Tyson update? Look out, he’s allowed to come to a city near you.