Quick (Perhaps Nonexistent) Hit

by Ryan

So the playoffs start in my keeper league this weekend, and I just realized that the week started last night. That whole Thursday Night Football thing happened, with the Saints and Bears playing. I guess. I didn't see it, so whatever. Anyway, I had two players in the game (Drew Brees, Robbie Gould) and I didn't even realize it was happening last night.



Now the good news is that I have 26 points in the bag going into this weekend, but, isn't this bad? The not knowing it happened thing, that is. I completely ignored NFL football last night, and even after realizing it my biggest concern was that I somehow might have had Drew Brees on my bench or something.

I mean, this is coming from a guy who shuts down on Sundays to watch nothing but football, and who even watches on Monday Night regardless of the crappiness. I don't miss opportunities to watch any kind of football, and the most powerful sports league in the country played a game last night and I didn't even bat an eye? I mean, think about how many people don't even have the ability to see this game, let alone care about it.

I mean... this is a problem, right? When the biggest fans you have couldn't care less about missing your premiere broadcast programming, it's time to lower your price tag a bit, right?

Dugga-ween

by Ryan

I know by now most people have their Halloween plans all laid out by now. However, just in case you have that Quailman costume all ready to go but don't have plans for tonight, we know the place to be:

Niagara Falls.



Paul Harris is having a party, and everyone is invited.



Make sure to be on the lookout for Carmelo Anthony, who isn't busy playing against the Clippers tonight or anything. If you thought the scene in Philly is something, wait until you see the celebrity guest performance tonight.

The Florida Panthers Want to Sex You Up

I'm not sure who that is but I assume it's Nathan Horton. Much like Larry Quinn, I blame him for everything.

Give the People What They Want

by Ryan

For reasons that I will never understand, our site often comes up when people do Google searches for Halloween costumes. Perhaps it is our unique sense of what is hip and now, or maybe because we have about 3,000 tags, all of which involve geese of some sort.

In any event, we've decided to embrace this new market for the month and offer Roost-approved Halloween costumes. We won't offer you anything slutty to wear because we aren't girls, (although word on the street is that Jon is a huuuuge skank) but at least you'll have something cool to wear that won't get arrested.

Our first selection may seem odd, or maybe just too obvious.



Now hear us out on this. It's very likely you have already worn this before, but when was the last time you saw anyone over the age of five in a pumpkin costume? It's the perfect costume, really. There's almost zero chance anyone else will have it, and if they do, they read us and you should be best friends/marry them if you're into that kinda thing.

Anyway, go with the pumpkin. You'll have a good story behind it, and probably look damn adorable in it. It's the perfect match to the inappropriately dressed nurse/witch/bunny/Amy Winehouse/mummy of your dreams.

"Is that a... OH MAN!"

by Ryan

Just when you thought Simo Hayha was the most dangerous Fin ever, along comes Tero Pitkamaki and his javelin.



Now I don't know about you, but I know that is exactly how my face would look if I was suddenly impaled by a large throwing spear.

Because Sdiri is okay, it is safe to look at this and go "wow, that actually is pretty cool." Someone with a bit of creativity could attempt to recreate the effect with toothpicks and whipped cream Frenchmen, but to each their own. A personal favorite would be to guess the most likely thought going through his head as a pointy stick is rammed into his side.

The Top 5:

5) "Man, these quad stretches really do burn!"

4) "Wait till I get Zidane on the phone..."

3) "This is still better than it "raining men" like last year..."

2) "Man, if I'd known her brother throws javelins for a living..."

1) "Maybe this will make me more "NOW" than Posh Spice!"