Petey's Place

by Ryan



Bob Slydell: Next up we have an... Andrew Peters.



Bob Porter: Mhm... let's see here...



Andrew Peters: You wanted to see me?

Bob Slydell: Yes, yes. Sit down, Andrew.




Bob Slydell: You see, what we're actually trying to do here is, we're trying to get a feel for how people spend their day at work... so, if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?

Andrew Peters: Sure. Well, I usually start with some soup.



Then I spend at least an hour spiking my hair.



And then I get beat pretty bad in a fight.



After that I kinda spend the next five minutes spacing out.

Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?

Andrew Peters: Yeah. I just kinda go in the box and space out. And after that I go to the bench and space out, too. I'd say I put in a good... 3 minutes of work in per game.

Bob Slydell: Wow. So... what exactly do you do here?

Andrew Peters: Well... I'm the enforcer.

Bob Porter: But you're never on the ice.

Andrew Peters: Well... yeah... then Goose and Mairsy takes care of it, but I do handle the enforcers.

Bob Slydell: You mean here?

Andrew Peters: Well... uh... no, but when players get jobbed I step up.

Bob Porter: You mean here?

Andrew Peters: Well, no, Mair and Gaustad took those...

Bob Slydell: So... again... what do you do here?

Andrew Peters: Well-well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn enforcers so the other players don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

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Bob Slydell: [Telling Darcy who's going to be fired] There's two more people we can easily lose, and then there's Andrew Peters... He's useless.
[laughs]
Bob Porter: Gone.